Saga begun
by kiku65
Summary: A turning point fanfic on an event in the Phantom Menace. Reviews create more fanfics. Feed the fanfics.


**Saga begun**

A Phantom menace fanfic, part of my 'turning points' saga of all six films. Looks at the shatterpoints of each film, written in Matthew Stover style.

Sorry it took so long, but the prequels are _all_ shatterpoints! I had to decide which were the most important.

_URGENT AUTHOR PLEA_- My OC fic 'Light the Day' has had_ no_ reviews, and I need to know whether this is because it is crap, or because no-one bothered to read it. PLEASE click the little button, even if you hate it, I swear I won't come and burn your house down. Promise.

* * *

It is impossible to start at the beginning. 

It could be said that the story of the New Republic started when the Empire was defeated at Endor, its leader killed, its forces scattered to the far reaches of space. And that would be true.

It could also be said that the story began when a hotshot Rebel pilot found the shatterpoint of his future and present, making a choice he thought the ones he loved would have made, and destroyed the deadliest weapon yet seen in the galaxy. That would be true as well.

But also you would have to start his story, beginning at the journey from his homeworld, the death of his guardians, the time and old hermit brought him to an obscure desert planet on the Outer Rim...

... of further back, to when that hermit had taken a wayward Padawan, to when he was accepted as a Padawan himself, to when he was chosen as a baby to defend peace and justice in an old democracy...

Any reliable source will tell you that the only truthful way to start at the beginning would be to start at the dawn of the universe. Or maybe not even there.

But _the_ beginning is not _a_ beginning.

_A_ beginning is about to happen.

Right now. As you read these words.

Perhaps they will begin something too.

* * *

Beginnings are not uniform. Sometimes they are noisy and messy, a moon-sized sphere exploding, a fleet destroyed. 

Sometimes they are the actions of a single being.

In a few minutes, you – Anakin Skywalker- are about to start something. But you do not know it.

All you know now is sorrow.

You shouldn't be unhappy. Most of you isn't. Most of you remembers that you have dreamed of this moment. From tiniest boyhood, you have dreamed of Jedi and stars and freedom. All your life you have worked towards that goal, every particle of your being structured towards it. It is your destiny.

But as you run to your room to pack your things, the sorrow lies there, like a Worrt under a stone.

She isn't coming.

Because when you dreamed of freedom, _you thought she would be there_. You never thought you would be _alone_. You never have been, how could it even be _possible_?

You switch on the droid you built out of love for her, your mother. The person who has loved you all your life, made sure you always ate, had somewhere to sleep, could laugh, cry, run, sit and think as much as you ever wanted. Made sure you were never lonely or scared any more than a slave always was.

And as you talk to the droid, as you tell him _I'm going away in a starship_, it weighs you down, makes this _real_. That you are going to leave her, for the first time in your entire life. She isn't going to be there.

You are alone.

* * *

You walk back to the Jedi, Master Qui-Gon Jiin. You don't hate him for what's happening. No _way_. He's a Jedi, a hero, a mysterious wonderful being who travels the stars and helps people. Who is helping _you_. 

No, you don't hate him. You just feel a little disappointed.

He's supposed to help people. People like you, and your mom. And while you might be going away to becoming a Jedi, she is staying here a slave. How could a hero let this happen?

Of course you know the answer. There wasn't enough money, Watto wouldn't sell her, and even Jedi can't perform miracles like that. But it's still a disappointment, because somehow, in your heart of hearts, so deep you didn't even think about it...

You thought they could.

You thought he'd make everything right.

_Everything._

Your slavery, her slavery, your poverty, the injustice, the unfairness, the harshness of what every single being here faces every day... that he could come and swing his lightsaber and make it all better. Like someone out of a story.

But it turns out that Jedi are only human after all.

For some reason that knowledge adds a ton to the heaviness under your heart.

* * *

You walk after the Jedi, head almost hanging. You are leaving for the last time ever, and rather than the joy you thought you would feel, there is only misery. Apprehension and fear. 

Almost like an execution, but what is dieing is the past.

You hesitate in the yard, and look back.

Your mother is there in the doorway, bidding you goodbye, and the sadness in her face and the horrible fear inside you is so painful that you run back towards her without a thought, burying yourself in her arms so that just for a moment, the universe is all right.

But it is only for a moment, and reality snaps back with vengeance.

"I can't do it mom, I just can't do it."

_I can't do this. I can't leave you._

What if you never see her again? What if you will lose her, the only person who has ever cared for you in your whole life?

"Will I ever see you again?" It comes out as a half-sob, choked by a horrible fear that the answer might be_ no_. That this will be the last time you speak, see her, hear her voice, get gathered into a hug for one last time...

"What does your heart tell you?"

How can you even ask it? It's so clouded by sorrow and terror- terror, you've never felt anything like it before- that you can't listen to it like you used to. It hurts too much.

But you must know, and so you look inside yourself, deeper than ever before. And under the fear...

_This isn't the end. It can't be._

"I...I think so. Yes..." you half-sob and try to smile, the results a mockery. "I guess."

And she trusts you. She smiles back like the suns that are shining on you, and says simply, "Then we _will_ see each other again."

It is said so firmly that you believe it yourself, and you calm. If she believes, it must be true. She wouldn't lie. She _never_ lies, not even to Watto. You can't even _imagine_ her lying.

So if she said it, it will come true.

She closes her eyes a moment, then looks up at you. You can see her pain.

"Now... be brave. And don't look back." She holds your gaze and shakes you slightly. "Don't look back."

_I know mom._

You know you can't look back after this. If you do, you'll never be able to leave...

But you need to tell her, before you go.

"I _will_ come back and free you mom. I promise."

_I'll go and become a Jedi, and I'll come back and free you. I'll free you all. _

_When_ I_ am a Jedi... I'll make sure no-one is ever a slave again._

And because you want that you get up. Because you love her you turn around. Because you will free her one day you walk towards the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jiin, and you don't turn around.

_Don't look back._

She wants you to go. She wants you to be free. You wouldn't be able to do this for yourself, but for her hope and faith in you can walk away, and not look back.

_Don't look back._

You follow Master Jiin out of the slave quarters, and you keep your eyes ahead. Fixed on your future.

_Don't look back._

Because you are Anakin Skywalker, you don't.

* * *

Everything that has a beginning has an end. 

But there was no true beginning to this. So there will never be an end.

Not until the universe itself has died...

Or maybe not even then.


End file.
